📰When you are looking for validation from others, what can you do for yourself instead?
Hello Connectors,
Greetings from The Connection Current!
We're studying a subject this month that has a subtle yet significant impact on all of us:
🌱 When you are looking for validation from others, what can you do for yourself instead?
It's a question that challenges us to stop and consider our resilience and inner value. We're urging you to take a step back and consider what it looks like to validate yourself first in a society where getting approval from others frequently feels like a yardstick for success.
Inside:
How to respect your own voice even when it is silenced
Self-awareness's subtle ability to lessen the need for approval
Doable strategies for developing inner validation
Regaining your value in a society that craves external validation
Let's practice presence instead of seeking affirmation."Do you see me?" to "I'm learning to see myself? And what is beautiful in what I am bringing?”
🪞 A Moment of Pause: A Story from the Field
We were moved by a friend's statement last week: "I kept hoping my coworkers would notice how hard I was working." But when I asked myself, "What would it feel like to give myself the same kindness and recognition I've been waiting for?" To notice what needs have been met with all I have done. That's when the real change occurred.
That is what self-validation is all about. Being our own witness is more important than waiting for someone else to speak.
🧠 Seeking Validation vs. Self-Validation: What’s the Felt Difference?
External focus is often the first step in seeking validation.
Internal recognition is the first step in self-validation.
It can seem like a quest for approval when one looks for validation.
Being true to yourself, regardless of what other people think, is what self-validation feels like.
Comparison is a common motivator for seeking validation.
A strong connection to your own values is the source of self-validation.
"Am I good enough for others?" is the question posed by seeking validation.
"Am I good enough for myself?" is the question posed by self-validation.
🧘 Self-Leadership Practices for Cultivating Inner Validation
🌬️ Take a moment to recognize your needs
"I see that I'm looking for approval from people other than myself. I would like to inquire about what I need, that I am choosing to do that? Do I want self trust?”
🛑 Make time for introspection
"I'm observing the desire to seek approval. I want to think about the things I can be proud of about myself before I reach out.”
🔍 Think about yourself.
What qualities in myself am I missing?
What needs have I been meeting?
And when I am less than perfect, or when I make mistakes, how can I give myself grace?
💬 Choices: Reframe the Journey
Try asking yourself, "How can I validate my own growth and achievements today?"
rather than, "I need others to validate me."
Try saying, "I am enough because I am aligned with my truth,"
as opposed to, "I am not enough without their approval."
"Does it matter to me to trust my own voice, even when others aren't listening?"
This is an example of an internal expression of empathy.
This is self-compassion, not self-centeredness.
🌟 What We Gain When We Choose Self-Validation Over External Approval
Increased emotional fortitude
Increased self-confidence
Genuine decision-making
A more realistic view of one's own value
Absence of the requirement for continual outside validation
Our own self-validation can occasionally be the most potent kind.
🔗 Let’s Reflect
Have you ever experienced the difference between seeking validation from others and validating yourself?
What helped you stay grounded, especially in moments of external doubt?
👇 Share your story in the comments. Let’s learn and grow together.
#SelfValidation #InnerWorth #EmotionalResilience #SelfCompassion #SelfLeadership #EmpathyInAction #ConnectionCurrent
Warm regards,
Pam Orbach
Founder
A Center For Restorative Solutions