📰 The Cost of ‘Being Right’: What We Miss Without Nonviolent Communication

Hello Connectors,

Welcome to The Connection Current !!

This month, we’re exploring a quiet disruptor in both leadership and life—the high cost of wanting to be right.

We’ll unpack how our communication defaults might be undermining trust, slowing teams down, and eroding collaboration—and how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) offers a way forward.

Inside:
🔹 The hidden price of “winning” conversations
🔹 NVC as a leadership superpower (not just a soft skill)
🔹 A simple 4-part framework to transform how you engage
🔹 What your culture might be missing without it

Let’s reframe what it means to lead with impact—through clarity, not control.
No blame. No ego. The magic of prioritizing connection.

📰 The Cost of ‘Being Right’: What We Miss Without Nonviolent Communication

In today’s busy and competitive work environment, many of us are conditioned to prioritize speed and being right over being understood. We strive to win arguments, to be seen as knowledgeable, we defend our positions—often at the expense of connection, collaboration, and trust.

But what if the real cost of being right is losing what actually matters?

🤐 What Happens When We Prioritize ‘Being Right’?

• Damaged relationships: When we focus on correcting others or proving a point, we miss cues about how they may experience being unheard, misunderstood, disheartened, disconnected or even loss of self esteem and humiliation.

• Stalled progress: Teams stuck in cycles of defensiveness and blame move slower, innovate less, and resist change, and are less efficient and effective.

• Internal stress: Constant conflict—whether spoken or silent—erodes mental wellness and team morale.

💬 Enter: Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

Devised by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is more than just being “nice.” It’s a framework to:

• Express honestly without blame or criticism

• Hear others and recognize when we are holding judgment and recognizing our own role in it.

• Create mutual understanding, even during disagreement

At its core, NVC shifts the focus from “Who’s right?” to “What matters to both of us?”

🧠 From Ego to Empathy: A Needed Leadership Skill

Especially in digital workplaces where tone and intention can be easily misread, NVC becomes a superpower. Leaders who communicate with empathy:

• Foster psychological safety

• Resolve conflict faster

• Build inclusive, resilient teams

✍️ A Simple NVC Formula You Can Use Today:

1. Observation: What actually happened—without judgment or interpretation?

2. Feeling: How do you feel about it? - recognize what’s happening for me?

3. Need: What need of yours is unmet?- what really matters here

4. Request: What would you like to ask for? Is there curiosity about what matters to the other person? Or is something high stakes for you that you would like them to hear?

Example:
"When deadlines are missed (observation), I feel stressed (feeling) because I value reliability (need). Would you be willing to update me earlier if timelines shift? (request)"

This expresses what’s going on for me, and asking the other person if they could stretch to change what they are doing so important needs can be met, rather than blaming them for how they are showing up at work.

🙏 What We Miss Without It

When we skip NVC, we miss out on:

• Nuanced connection

• Honest feedback

• Sustainable collaboration

• Transformative possibilities 

We may “win” the moment but lose the momentum.

🔗 Let’s Talk: Have you experienced a situation where being right cost you a relationship or opportunity? How might NVC have changed the outcome?

👇 Drop your thoughts in the comments.

Warm regards,

Pam Orbach

Founder
A Center For Restorative Solutions